I could write a book on the process, but basically you need to do the following:
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Research, research, research. Become familiar with pricing/incentives on the vehicle(s) you are interested in. A place like leasehackr is great for getting lease information.
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Once you do your research, KNOW YOUR PRICE. You can’t call up a random dealer, go “Hey, give me your best offer on ______ for a 36 month lease!”. You’ll never get an offer that is close to the dealer’s actual bottom line. Instead of “Can I haz the $12/month leaze I heard about from somewhere???”, go “I am interested in , and after doing research, I want to know if you can agree to $/month on stock number 123456 for a __ month/__k mile lease, $0 down. I should qualify for X, Y, and Z rebates.”
Giving them hard numbers to work with will help out immensely. For one, it shows that you have done your homework and are not a sucker waiting to be reeled in.
I’ve also found going in person does help in the dealer taking you seriously. A random email from "LockHerUp_crookedHillary@gmail.com" asking for “Your best offer!” will probably get tossed in the spam box. However, knowing you are a living, breathing person makes the dealer think you can become an actual sale.