Funniest/most ridiculous dealer replies you've ever gotten

So you would start the whole thing by being “open and honest about the numbers” and then proceed to “mess with the numbers”. Proud of yourself at the end of the day? This is just a basic variation of a sleazy car salesman that no one wants to deal with.

And yet if someone was to post a hypothetical of how they adjusted some screenshots, fudged some numbers, and faked their way to a better deal, this entire forum would be screaming and yelling how all customers are assholes. There is already that if a customer dares to shop across the dealers.

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I think what Falcon is talking about doing is no different than what most salesman end up doing. Except, he actually runs the numbers and explains the process to the customer which is more than I can say for 98% of the salesmen I’ve ever encountered.

So long as the customer arrives at a number they’re happy with and they see it, who cares?

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Until he got to the end part of intentionally misleading by lying about how the numbers are calculated.

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I would have seen it that way, had he not pointed out how he makes a “mistake” note the quotes, which implies he’s doing it on purpose. And then continued admission “or mess with the numbers some other way to make them a bit higher.”

Correct. To be completely honest, I worked for a Mazda dealership - there was no money to be made there. There’s like $800 between invoice and MSRP on most models. I was paid 20% of front end gross, or $100 flats. If I sold a car for full sticker, I would make something like $160. In order to make any sort of money there or at most dealerships - you have to hold gross. Volume doesn’t really get you very far where I worked. I’m not saying I’m proud of what I did - I’m explaining it for everyone’s benefit here. I did a lot of fucked up things when I sold cars. It’s one of the reasons I no longer sell cars. To make any money doing so, you can’t give away cars all day at LH worthy deals or even get close. Was I sleazy? Sure, a bit. But with me, the numbers wouldn’t change - what you saw is what you got. You were either ok with the payment and DAS or you weren’t and I wasn’t going to try to convince you otherwise.

Most of these leases still ended up being well sticker and many under invoice, so it’s not like I was fucking everyone left and right - just simplifying the process between a customer coming in and asking for $5k off a $24k Mazda 3 or wanting a CX9 for $300/mo (this is when Mazda used Chase and they leased terribly) into actually being realistic with their numbers and getting a car. I would say most of them ended up with an average or slightly above average deal for a Mazda.

And most customers are assholes BTW. Including myself. I do think car sales is a profession that provides no value, even more so than real estate agents. That being said, I do recognize that I, along with most LH users are in the minority in which we’re interested in learning how things works and using it to get a good deal - when most people could care less and just need the payment to fit their budget.

Thanks. The difference with me was I didn’t go back and forth and hide between a big mean manager. I knew what was generally doable and what wasn’t, and was able to save everyone time.

I did tell a lot of my customers about the 1% rule. Something to remember was that these weren’t customers coming in and asking for a reasonable discount - people would walk in with crazy numbers and would get defensive if a manager would talk to them. I would defuse the situation and explain the actual math.

True.

Yeah, I did do it on purpose. It’s the only way to come out to realistic numbers most of the time. Something to keep in mind is the general population is not like LeaseHackr. They won’t come in with knowledge of an aggressive, but potentially doable deal. They would come in expecting to lease a car for $49/mo or get $10,000 off due to some rebates no one would ever qualify for becuase that’s what Major World Auto Group advertises on one VIN number with $8k DAS that no one ever reads the fine print of.

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@Grbox I think you meant to put this here:

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Yes but my story is true. The meme is real.

I think you might be confused about what a meme is my friend

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Dealer when negotiating a car: “it’s just $5,000, you can just put a couple hundred in bitcoin and make that by the end of the day”.

If it was that easy I’m pretty sure we’d all be millionaires and you would not care about the 5k yourself.

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I hate it when dealers ask “Where are you looking to be for monthly payments?”. This was after they sent me a quote with very minimal discount and me telling them we were quite far apart.

I provided them with a monthly, based on my research on this forum and the info I received from Edmunds (MF, RV and incentives). I made it clear I was not putting any money down but only paying the usual fees and first months at signing. Will provide an update once they respond.

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my response to stupid questions is always: I want you to pay me $132.38 a month to take this car off your hands. The number is always some weird number with cents just to make it even more confusing :slight_smile:

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This an Audi dealer btw, in a wealthy town. I am sure they will say no to my offer.

I agree, but frequently, as a broker, I have to ask a similar but more friendly worded question to many people that I speak to from here. Many people are hesitant to answer to which I usually have to remind people that I’m not a dealer and it’s not a trick question :joy:

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Yeah, wealthy towns are usually the problem. The dealers are used to people just walking in, signing whatever is put in front of them and drive off. This is especially prevalent in areas where there is no alternative dealer nearby, or if there is one, somehow both are owned by the same auto group.

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After strictly following LH’s recommended workflow of negotiating a lease, I kinda started to let loose on answering these questions. I did my own math and calculated the monthly. If you can get me there we have a deal, I don’t really care how you get there. A lot of times this actually cuts down a lot of dealer BS, the sales will be so clueless so that the manager has to come out then it goes back to grinding down details like discount/MF/incentives etc.

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Luckily, there are quite a few dealers (4ish) within an hour drive from me. I wanted to give my local dealer a shot.

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There are two BMW dealerships owned by the same group in my town and the one next to us. My friend tried to “hack” a bmw from the one in our town. He got blacklisted from both lmao, he would literally ask for 20% off new cars with base MF, after numerous emails he got “banned” from both.

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I hate when customers think I can read their mind.

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It isn’t a dumb question. We select few may not like it, but the overwhelming majority of car shoppers only care about the payment.

To be fair I think the folks on this forum don’t represent an average buyer. 7 times out of 10 people walk in to the dealership without doing any research and just knowing the max they can afford in monthly payments - ofcourse not the best way to do car shopping but these buyers make LH worthy deals possible. I can also imagine that this is an easy way for a salesperson to figure out if the customer has reasonable expectations or not. eg $400 on an X3 with 0 DAS is never happening.

I usually respond in kind to this question by saying I’m looking for x % off MSRP pre incentives and x MF, and if you they can get me those the monthly will fall in line with where I want to be.