Funny Things Dealers Say

There were a few things in this email that made me chuckle and thought others might appreciate them. This was in response to me asking how they got such a high payment if they gave the discount they said that they did in addition to the incentives that are applicable.

Hi AB_hackr,

I don’t have the deal structure sheet in front of me and won’t until tomorrow morning when I’m back in the office. I can speak to the money factor and confirm that the buy rate is 0.00167. Dealers mark up the rate as a source of profit. Though the buy rate is 0.00167, only employees in long standing at a dealership might be able to lease a car at the actual buy rate. I think we have 3 tenths in the rate and likely something left in the cars’ cost and that’s the difference in the numbers.

If your expectation is to lease the car as if you’re an employee, then we may be on the wrong page for you. However I’ll review things in the morning and get back to you. It may be that I’ll have to speak with the owner who is out of town until Sunday to get the best deal all the way around. I’ll do my best but there is your ideal target monthly payment and then there’s some sort of room to compromise which is often times a bit more than what you want to spend. I remind you, we are a for profit organization as I believe all capitalist enterprises are.


I had a customer threaten to blow up the building on Thanksgiving! (funny thing customer said, not dealer)


The only response to him is “this is a capitalist market and I get to choose which dealership to give my money to. Have a nice weekend.”


I had a dealer tell me they did not want to be the lowest price dealer. They knew I was looking for the best price and had shopped other nearby dealers, who offered better deals.

That is kind of a straight forward truthful response. Better than a dealer saying they’re losing money on every deal and blowing smoke up your rear. This dealer wants to make a profit and you could take it or leave it.


He must be bored that day. He should have added his autobiography and and list of his favorite songs too.

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I don’t see anything wrong with his response to be honest lol.

The deals that a lot of the “lease hacking community” want truthfully are equivalent or better than what most employees would be able to get. He worded it in a way that gives you some understanding as to why they are not able to do the deal.

I hate those people who lies to straight to your face.


I agree the response was better than the usual “no one will sell it that low” response. However, the salesman had told me they would at least meet any deal I got in writing. They had done that when I leased my previous car from them.

I get that every deal can’t be a unicorn… but feeling he had to “remind” me that a dealership is a for-profit enterprise comes off to me as very condescending. Also, that only employees in long standing can get the buy rate, is also ridiculous. That may be their policy at their store, but clearly they can’t speak for all dealerships.

I’ve gotten several responses that I think were much more tactful. One was something like “The deal you’ve requested is not a profitable deal for us and I will pass at this time. Thank you for the opportunity.” Short, sweet, and to the point.

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Sending condescending emails is honestly one of the best parts of the job.


We would love to see your finest example…share it with us!

In fairness, most salespeople have no clue. To avoid straight up lying sometimes it’s best not to know.

nothing says “GFY” like homicide by kindness.

I have a really good one that some dude sent to Honda Corporate to complain but it was on the old CRM :frowning:

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Here’s one of my fun replies to the spam leads “i want to help you get more traffic to your website”


I have to deal with all vendor phone calls and I always try to sell them a CRV. So much fun!


Not a marked up civic Type R?

My favorite with them is when I sent a link of Carvana in San Diego selling used 2019 Type R at a new Type R’s MSRP - I told them they can definitely get one at MSRP however it would have to be used. I checked last week and that one sold from Carvana so I am bummed I can’t play that card anymore.


I actually find this response to be well thought out and worded. I’d rather get told “no, we have to eat too” than “come in and see what we can do for you” and go down a rabbit hole wasting time.

It sounds like OP is a Commie. commie