It’s in both of our names 
Well, that wipes out my thought then. If it was in his, I’d tell you to have him pick it up and absorb the payment, which would give you a fresh start, or you’d let the captive do a voluntary repo.
That won’t work if it’s in your name too.
With that said, since it is a martial asset, you either both get to split the proceeds if it has equity (or you buy him out of the equity), OR, you both get to absorb the negative equity if you were to sell it today (Or he has to give you half of it). In other words, if you’re 10k underwater right now, your lawyer (assuming you’re lawyered up at this point, or will be soon), should be able to get him to cough up some money for it. It’s much more convoluted than that, and other marital debts would also be in play as well. However, technically, since it’s a marital asset, he’s responsible for half it’s loss of value should you sell it.
NOTE: I am not a lawyer, nor am I giving you legal advice, as all states are different in regard to divorce proceedings (assuming it’s going that way). Your attorney will be able to confirm that information, or steer you in the right path. Based on my experience though, that’s how it worked.
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Ok these are awesome response that have my wheels spinning. Also there’s some things I should clarify that may change perspectives.
-I make more than him. I’ll have some child support but I’m not depending on that- and yes that goes straight to her stuff, not to drive a fancy car. All expenses are paid, child remains attending private school, im keeping the house, etc.
-I have the cash to pay off the negative equity if I needed to- but a 3.5% equity loan felt worth me keeping the money accessible and investing what I can too. But maybe just paying off the neg equity and starting fresh would be better and I can do a heloc if I needed cash.
-I don’t “have” to have a lower payment. With both incomes it wasn’t a big deal. But without his, a more sensible payment frees money up for vacations, etc.
-the person mentioning I’m putting 80k into the pilot over the next 10 years… holy cow I didn’t even think about that. That’s horrifying.
-I’m reading the same things about the transmission on it and that scares me. With my mileage I’ll be out of warranty too soon.
-I like new cars and really want to continue driving some sort of 3rd row SUV or large car. I paid cash and drove a 2004 corolla with no payments for 10 years (until 3 years ago) and paid off all other debts- even had a Ramsey bumper sticker… gave that car to my dad and the thing is still running at 215k! So other than my home, which has a lot of equity, a car is my only liability. So I’m ok with a “car payment forever” if that means I can keep driving something nicer/newer and it’s not keeping me from other obligations, investing, etc.
this makes sense…
my mileage is the biggest problem I guess…
Yes Safety has been the cause of knee jerk reactions. My best friends husband was killed in an accident. I want in the biggest safest car We can be in.
I average 27mpg and the difference in cost of gas isn’t a huge deal to me. I wouldn’t want something that’s 19mph just based on the principle of it 
He didn’t get the mustang. Thank goodness.
I am keeping the house and just refi into my name.
I won’t be taking on anything until after things are finalized. But we have all paperwork done.
He’s not getting equity from the house due to me taking on this debt of the pilot. So I (and my attorney) feel like that comes out fair.
It doesn’t matter who makes more in those situations. You still are responsible for a pro rata share of support if you are a non custodial parent. And if he’s a W2 wage earner there’s no reason why you shouldn’t count on it, barring a job loss if it is garnished.
Ah yes…When I was young and stupid, we also misused rental cars on business trips. Hey it’s not my car lets see what this family sedan can do ! I’ve always wanted to do some power slides ! Oh What fun ! It’s all part of the maturing process.
Now I’m older, wiser (and stupid still) and have bought a number of rental cars and have had very good experience(s) with them. As I see it the risk with rental cars would be in suspension and transmission issues. All of the cars I have bought were still under factory warranty should there have been issues.
In terms of dollars spent versus the utility received I though rental cars were quite the bargain.
Still, I can understand how rental cars aren’t for everyone.
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You seem very financial-savvy, so, with all due respect, what possessed you to take on a 10 year car note in the first place?
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I always preferred to do neutral drops myself.
The devil
Honestly I had so much going on at the time I think mental exhaustion just took my common sense for a while. He wouldn’t shut up about it so I just gave in.
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Deleting the post as missed the details…
Did you pay attention to what she wrote when you read it? She wants/needs 3rd row SUV or a large car.
My wife drive alot too around 25k a year —- here is my 2 cents…
We bought cars thay hold good value and with good discount, 0% - 0.9% apr. Such as we bought a 2015 honda accord 29k msrp paid out the door 26k got a loan through honda financial for 5 years. Drive for about 2 year when it hit 50k mile sell for 16k got our down payment back. get the equity put down payment on another new car.
The pilot is a good car and it does hold value, just your situation is having 3 negative equity rolled in and probaly high interest rate and not good discount on the car that put burden on the payment. My suggestion is sell the car get rid of negative equity and start over.
Do not lease the car because the interst is higher than purchase.
Ps: sorry to say this but by reading your post, you might need to have better financial management. Given your situation do not rely on your house equity, think it as a back up plan do not touch it unless it is emergency. Because that money will go away super fast and you will end up with no house. Good luck.
@Apistole
now knowing a little more back story, it sounds to me like you can afford to pay off the negative equity.
Unfortunately there’s no way to “erase” that in any way, so it will have to be paid somehow. Either now or later. You will never be “less” upside down enough where keeping it makes sense given that you’ll end up paying 80k for this car. Best to get out now in my opinion, especially given the mechanical problems this car seems to have.
So if you have the cash, get rid of it now and reset.
Here’s a new idea:
Why not get something like this:
24 mo, $300/mo with 15k mi/yr and pay the extra $200/mo in over miles (10k mi per yr at 0.25c comes out to ~$200/mo extra). Total will be $500/mo. It’s not a horrible payment for driving something decent. Has 50k mi warranty, so you should be good there.
I’m taking the divorce thing out of the equation, that’s not something i can comment on, but the above is what i would do. Get the best car i can get for $300 and pay the $200 over milage as long as you’re under warranty.
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I referred to mine as Medusa.
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Where did he go? …
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So that costs you $10k over 2 years. That works out to ~$416/month. Not bad but not a great deal either for a Honda Accord even at 25k/year.
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Ok yes- doing something like this or a lease like 305 mentioned above is sounding like that makes sense.
I really want it to be an SUV at this point either way.
Paying $500 a month towards a car is fine with me as long as it’s not a really bad move long term… and as long as it’s what I want.
I think starting fresh is the best thing. The pilot reliability and it running out of warranty makes me nervous too.
Edited… I do need to do something soon- Bc he has to come off the loan.
So please give me an example of a better car. Given the situation and that she has to drive 25k a year, paying for insurance, gas and maintenance… what car can be cheaper than that and i dont have to worry about new tires, tune up, brakes etc.