Email Template Feedback

Hi Guys - I am trying to create an inviting intro email detailing the services my dealership can provide for a painless shopping experience. Take a look below and let me know your feedback. Since you guys are a challenging audience you’re the best group of people to ask. The spacing, bold, underlined, etc. don’t pop generate via copy/paste so focus more on the content.

Hi [FirstName],

Thank you for your recent inquiry with (Name of store) Honda. Now that you’ve begun your car shopping I have one simple question for you:
“How would you like to buy your next vehicle?”

Here at Super Mega Honda we offer a unique and unmatched shopping experience by offering the following:
Explore the features of multiple trim-levels via email/phone to find your best value
Savings Certificates via email to ensure great discounts
Offering a no-haggle, best price up front reviewed and guaranteed via phone
Look up your potential trade-value via Kelley Blue Book to ensure top dollar
Paperwork can be completed and ready for signatures upon arrival at the dealership
In-home delivery of your new vehicle up to a 20-mile radius
Price-Match Guarantee for any legitimately written offer - we will not lose a deal over price!
Updated pricing data on any new Honda to ensure you are not over-paying - know what others in the area have paid
Get information any vehicle’s unique genuine Honda parts to customize your vehicle
Free Lyft to the dealership up to a 20-mile radius
Now that we are rolling out our Red Carpet Shopping Service please do let me know where you are at in your vehicle search and how I can help you move forward.

Edit: this is what it looks like

i feel like it’s too long. I stopped reading halfway through. People have 7-second attention spans these days (incl me lol). Maybe if it was laid out better in a more bullet point format it would be easier to digest.


It is in bullet-point format. I mentioned in the original post that when I copy/pasted it from the sales system into leasehackr the bullet points, bold, italics, underline, font size, etc. do not transfer over. In terms of the content itself how is it?

Are you aiming this to a certain type of request? E.g. is this intended to be a test drive request response?

Because, for me, if this is a price inquiry response I have submitted to you and I get this back, I’ve stopped reading after line 3.

I want to see (1) yes, we have the car you inquired about in stock, (2) here is the MSRP, (3) here is the sale price, (4) Available incentives, (5) here are the additional fees/accessories installed on the car. Then you can tell me all the rest of the stuff you listed below.

100% agree

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The goal is for myself and the BDC team who sit at computers all day to essentially create spoon deals for the internet sales team. I want to show all the things the dealership has to offer however realize brief, concise emails illicit a better response.

I appreciate the feedback. It sounds like I need to trim it down a bit.

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I think something you can focus on is making sure the right information is going out to the right types of requests. My biggest pet peeve is that 98% of the time, whether I click “get e-price” or “schedule a test drive” or “get more information”, I get the same canned automated information.

The information you have is great, but you should also ensure you’re giving the person requesting information what they’ve asked for before going into your value proposition.

Hi [FirstName],

Thank you for your recent inquiry with (Name of store) Honda. To get you started with your car buying experience, I have one question for you: How would you like to buy your next vehicle?

Here at (Name of store) Honda we offer a streamlined shopping experience by offering:

  • Correspondence via email/phone to find your best value
  • Savings Certificates via email to ensure significant discounts
  • A no-haggle, best price up front, reviewed and guaranteed via phone
  • Value your trade-in using Kelley Blue Book, ensuring top dollar
  • Home delivery of your new vehicle within 20 miles
  • Free Lyft to the dealership within 20 miles
  • Preparation of final paperwork in advance of your arrival, saving you time
  • A Price-Match Guarantee for any written offer - we will not lose your business over price!
  • Genuine Honda parts to customize your vehicle and make it uniquely yours

We are rolling out our Red Carpet Shopping Service, so please let me know how I can help you move forward!

Danny McBride

I cut it down a bit. Also tried keeping each bullet consistent with the message earlier saying “Offering…”

Also, are there any stipulations for the price match? like does the competing offer need to be local? region?

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As a NYR fan I never saw myself taking advice from a Devils fan yet here I am. Danny is about to sell even more cars boys! I should limit the pricing to local quotes since regions can vary on incentives occasionally with Honda.

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Man it’s true what they say about LA, no real sports fans… you even know the Kings exist?

Ya, like others said, brevity is supreme. Keep things, clear and concise to retain attention and get your point across quick

I took down the hottest puck-bunny ever last year but she is a Ducks fan.

Tbh, just like dealers hate the “I’m gonna shop your quote to 1500 dealer” emails, I hate these form emails too. If I simply ask “what’s your sales price before incentives on a lease through the website, I just want an answer to my question, not start the 4 square game through email.


LETS GO RANGERS, tough year like every year. Feel bad for Hank

I preach to my team to answer and acknowledge every question. Most internet leads don’t come with specific questions.


Wow man, I dont think you should be posting pics of your mom online

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Bam, zinger!

Edit: me can’t spell

Also agree. I hate these kinds of fluffy emails. Just reply to my original inquiry and stop sending me automated stuff I have to report as spam and unsubscribe from.

Half of those bullets can wait til later. I don’t need to know about your Uber 20 mile policy or your paperwork organization if I’m just interested in the price of a car on your website. It also does nothing to sell me on buying from you

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Appreciate the feedback. I’ll be trying it, seeing how it works, and modifying as needed based on results.

Yes in the middle of shopping now. I completely disregard anything that does not have a price or at least asks me exactly what I want. I do not even bother to answer

If you really will negotiate over the phone or by email really emphasize that because most places still want you to come and make an appointment and the contact is only to do that which is annoying

The Uber or Lyft thing is nice since a lot of people are shopping for their first car in my area (NY) since they never needed one before