100% - why so many people decline the hand wash. But they all brag about it.
Also, just to chime in, touchless car washes tend to use very harsh chemicals (because you’re substituting something physically removing the dirt) which can in turn be very hard in any existing ceramic coating, sealants, and even damage PPF in the long run.
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Not many touchless car washes in the LA area. 
When I do a self service car wash, I do a soap-y pre-soak, rinse, then soap-y soak again. If I use the brush, I hose off the bristles, ad then rinse. I use high-pressure rinse to get off tree sap and such. I’m not super anal about my car, but, as far as I can tell, I have done a decent job of not introducing much in the way of swirl marks. Previous car was dark blue, current car is black.
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Fastest is to use a shoe-wetter to bust off most of the bugs and grime, followed with a spotless rinse (if they offer it and keep their resin filter fresh), and a blow dry (use an EGO 765 sans nozzle and a 5AH battery). Drive home, and proceed to do a very minimal No Rinse bucket wash if there’s too much remaining dirt for a simple No Rinse squirt and shine.
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Counter Point: 99% of people wash their cars weekly at the local car wash and go on with their lives. The funniest and most insane version of this fear of car washes I’ve seen is in Porsche forums where people talk about using diapers to soak up water after washing their cars. Yes really they do that.
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I’ve adopted the ridiculousness on my Panamera. I bought an electric leaf blower that I bring to the self serve carwash and blow dry my entire car. The only area that gets microfiber dried is the door jamb area and glass.
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I love using my leaf blower to remove snow from my car
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My car is ceramic coated and it virtually dries itself with a leaf blower. I am a member of a local car wash facility (DIY washing) and they have a $500 leaf blower that is basically a handheld hurricane. I get any left over water with a towel and use a ceramic boost drying agent so there isn’t marring. Then I use one of those pressure washer guns to blow water out of all the cracks and crevices. It is very therapeutic.
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Would not be surprised if there was a Dry Bar for Porsches in the works (or should I say werks)…
Water-based paints especially on Honda and Toyota seem to be inferior to German jobs in my experiences. Wonder if US-built BMWs’ paint jobs are different than the German ones. I’ve only owned German-built so far.
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Actually, I do that sometimes, but to get the poly gloss in No Rinse to protect from the seagull sht, I have keep applying with microfiber towel every other wash. Don’t touch unless you need to!
ok i have to see this thing in action
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Sounds very similar to my process, but I have the equipment at home. Is there a particular drying towel you prefer to use? That is one thing I’ve yet to find one that I really love.
+1 I want to say the paint quality on my 4Xe is excellent. Thick. Very even. No dripping or orange peel.
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I can also say GM also has good quality paint. Every Chevy and Cadillac I’ve had had thick paint etc.
The Germans as well. (VW, Audi, MB and BMW)
Unfortunately not so much on Honda and Toyota.
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I think all of the concerns everyone is mentioning here has to do with the clear coat. Whether the paint is thick or not, scratches easily or has water spots has nothing to do with the quality of the paint. I remember Infiniti marketing self healing clear coat over a decade back but obviously isn’t anything more than marketing.
Have you tried this? Waffle Weave Gray Matter Microfiber Drying Towel | Chemical Guys. or Chemical Guys Woolly Mammoth Microfiber Drying Towel, 36" x 25" | Chemical Guys
I have tried a bunch and anything from the Rag Company is great. I use the gauntlet after blow drying the car. It is what all the high-end professional shops around me us too. The Gauntlet Microfiber Drying Towel | The Rag Company
Next time I go I will take a video.
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I think MB did, too. Who knows, maybe it’s so common now that no one talks about it??? 
That’s the best kind of snow for skiing too. It’s called - wait for it - BLOWER snow. The snow that falls around me is usually too wet. But on those occasions where we do get the nice fluffy snow, it is fun use the leaf blower instead of the snow blower to clear the driveway and walkways. I’ve seen people walk by and look at me funny doing it.
My car wash has a little hand held air thing where the self vacuums are. It’s good for getting water beads off. The $500 blowers are insane powerful. I rent one every fall to do leaf cleanup on my property. Best $50 you’ll ever spend for that rental.