Jim, what have we said about ADMITTING to federal crimes on LH.
Former Hospitality & Ent. Booze was the majority of our profit margin at our restaurant and banquet halls, food had a good markup (we were a higher end place), but booze was the real money maker.
Statute of limitations has passed!
I’ll keep that in mind when I spill the locations of the bodies and my cannonball speed records.
I think we had someone post a referral offer for AmEx the other day for extra bonus points.
My brother had a big crazy fancy $30k wedding (back in 2001), and his marriage was over about 6 months later.
We spent probably under $5k all together, did most of everything ourselves besides the actual venue and food, and this year will be 23 years.
So I guess my hack is if you have any creativity and art skills, decorate yourself.
When you say did mostly everything yourselves, can you elaborate more?
My wife did the wedding favor everyone gets and center pieces with a friend. That saved us a lot I know that.
I got my wife’s rings from brilliant earth. They were a lot cheaper than a comparable non lab diamond and without all the ethics issues, but there are definitely people who look at lab diamonds as not real. Id use them again.
My wife made a lot of the decorations, centerpieces and stuff. We set up everything up. She got a vintage dress from a thrift store and modified it herself.
Getting a lab created diamond is prob the best hack. She still doesn’t know! Jk haha
If she does find out that means she got it appraised. Red flag 
My wife liked the idea, so im in the clear
Lab diamonds are great, ethical, and super cool IMO. But anyone shopping should keep an eye out for the label, De Beers has its own brand called LightBox as well as Element Six.
I looked at lab created vs mined. I think lab created is one of the best things they’ve done in years. The color and clarity looks fantastic, plus the price advantage. I’m quite sold on it
Yeah debeers was forced to get into the hustle. Now they’re trying to corner that market as well.
I found it cheaper to have 2 weddings.
1 destination wedding for closer people. Dollar goes a lot further in Caribbean or Mexico.
2 cheap restaurants buy out for the people
You don’t know that are forced to invite due to culture
Destination wedding if you have to have one. The best wedding we’ve been to was in Cabo, you can rent a beach, guests get all inclusive amenities, you can even buy fireworks cheap-ish. Plus it’ll cut down the # of guests to people who really want to be there
We decided to get married in court and use our money elsewhere as we had early careers, but we do plan on throwing a 10 year celebration
I feel like designation weddings put a lot of strain on people that feel obligated to come to the wedding and doesn’t have the resources to pay for it. If I did one I would have to include at least hotel rooms for guests. Also, I have a lot of older family that for health reasons wouldn’t be able to come to the wedding. So that would be a no go. Nana would never let it go
If I went that route I’d have a second “wedding” at a restaurant for people that couldn’t come.
Everything about this sounds horrible. Remember, it’s your wife’s day. If parents are paying for it, they can have a lot of say on who to invite. If you’re footing the bill, it’s whatever your wife wants. Nothing else matters.
Inviting people you’ve never met, regardless of culture, makes no sense if you’re footing the bill. It’s not like there’s a risk they’ll stop speaking to you because you don’t know them anyways 
We had to pay for EVERYTHING ourselves including getting her parents to be able to come/stay/fly etc. Here is what we did to save money as we don’t have a ton and live in expensive destination wedding wine country (sonoma county):
Rehersal dinner: we rented a space in a nice park that had a big table/giant bbq etc. We invited all the out of town guests/wedding party and ended up with around 30-35 people. I spent $260 on food/drinks/silverware etc at costco and had my groomsmen bbq for everyone. It was fun, everyone had a relaxed time meeting each other/catching up and everyone was actually able to hear everyone else. I looked a few restaurants and for 30 people they all required a catered event and it started around $30/person plus booze plus tips etc. I saved around $2000-3000 here alone and the experience was actually nicer IMO.
The ceremony and reception were split into two venues. For the ceremony we picked a redwood forest grove in a county park. The fee was like $150 and we spent about $200 on waters/parking and $300 on site prep stuff.
Reception: We rented a place that hosts large groups and does weddings also. The total cost for this place with the DJ/MC/staff/tables/chairs etc was around $7500. Most places in this region start at $10k fee before you add in anything. This place also is kinda a dance hall place but looked nice on the inside with a great light show
Food: we ended up using a local pizza/pasta place for catering. We did a bunch of pasta dishes and sides and people loved the food. It was $900 for 70 people and we had WAY to much food. The normal wedding food places were $30-50/person minimum. Two other couple friends tried to do this but their venues wouldn’t allow them to bring in outside catering.
Booze: bought our own wine and beer. Used trader joes (spent 2 months “wine tasting”…) to buy wine. Most of the cheap wines were terrible but the old wine guy had us try a few select randoms that were $4-5/bottle that turned out very good. Spent about 20% on alcohol compared to normal.
I had a rule of not inviting people I didn’t want to come to my actual house. I guess I don’t really care much about the culture aspects of this choice so YMMV.
cake: we spent $150 on this including delivery and setup. We picked a local grocery chain that has a great bakery and they were totally into it. The normal cake places in this area wanted $500-1000
flowers/greenery: costco for us all the way, 1/3rd of the price of florists
Edit- this was 4 years ago in 2018. All of my friends that have been married since then spent 2-3x what we did and the friend group didn’t have nearly as much fun as our wedding.
Your step 1 Rehearsal Dinner is THE hack…simply turn that into the wedding! Sounds exactly like the Kirby Cove wedding. Both families had camped at that cove over the years, and were familiar with the camp site and beach, so I think it helps to find a ‘special’ place for the two of you, that perhaps binds your families together already, in some way.